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Pressure, Art and Confidence

This has ended up being a very personal post, but I'm publishing it anyway.

You know, I was reading Smidge Girl's blog the other day and I was so excited for her when she got the call to do furniture work for an upcoming HBO project. I daydreamed to myself that someday maybe I'd get that call and how I'd respond. My answer surprised me. I'd say no! I'd say I wasn't good enough yet and pass them on to one of the more talented 1/6th scale furniture makers. (I don't even make furniture, mind you.) It got me thinking about my other artistic talents. My cartoon girls that I refused to market and get out there on purses and tshirts and stuff. Why? Because it wasn't good enough. My writing? I stopped writing novels why? Because they weren't good enough.

I'm not into self deprication, but I am honest with myself. My doll work is just plain sloppy and I rush too much to get things done.

I put things out on a blog because not doing so is like keeping a really REALLY juicy secret.

You know for a while I was thinking of really working on my doll stuff to please all you people (the general doll collecting population) but that's not what this is about. It's about the rush and gush of love that I have when I see these dolls and how excited I get when their stories come to life for me.

My writing became about my audience and how to hustle and sell. The joy left it for me. I will not let this happen with dolls. This is how I find my peace.

Ah, now I can relax, let my Josephine Baker dining room project take 100 years (I put down the hardwood floors this weekend, got some awesome fabric scraps at Mom's for the chairs, so I didn't totally slack off) and not feel the pressure I put on myself to be an accomplished doll repainter/rerooter/dressmaker/furniture designer/set designer/photographer.

Look my photos are just going to suck for a while. I can live with that. But you'll giggle at the stories, that I can guarantee!

Life is always better when you don't take yourself too seriously.

Happy Monday,
dani

Comments

  1. You're so right, Dani-- taking yourself too seriously is just disastrous! If you can tell when you jump that track & start doing things to please other people instead of yourself-- well, you're ahead of the game, lol. Sometimes it's tough to make that distinction, especially when work & play are the same.

    I hope you're not selling yourself short on things! Everyone starts everything as a novice. But if you work long & hard enough, (or if you're one of those super annoying people with instant talent, lol) eventually you get good, even great-- you just have to be able to recognize that change when it comes. There's a difference between being a realist and being a pessimist, and constantly saying "I'm not good enough" can become a horrible, blinding habit. (Believe me, I know, I say it all the time, lol!) Make sure you give yourself credit for all your talent! :)

    Thanks for sharing something so personal. Hope we get to see some of your cartoon girls one day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's Smidge! It's so awesome to have a colleague in this world. No one I know (in real life) does doll work.

    I will be better one day. I'm beginning to recognize what I need to learn and things I need to improve and that's a good first step!

    Thanks for the encouragement. Can't wait to see your HBO special! I'll post some cartoon girls for fun later.

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smooches,
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